The Reality of Waiting in Foster Care
In my
One day my calendar was full of appointments, classes, paperwork, and home visits. The next day… it was quiet.
No phone calls.
No placement.
Just waiting.
I’ve learned that waiting in foster care isn’t just about waiting for a child. It’s about learning to trust the process even when nothing seems to be happening.
You Spend Months Preparing… Then Suddenly It’s Quiet
For months, it felt like the foster care process took over my life. There were appointments, training classes, paperwork, phone calls, safety checks, home visits, and endless things to check off the list. Every week brought another requirement, and my mind stayed focused on what came next.
I remember thinking, “Once we get licensed, things will finally start happening.”
Then one day we became active… and everything changed.
Instead of rushing to finish the next task, there was nothing left to do except wait. We had prepared our home, organized the bedrooms, bought supplies, and done everything our agency asked of us. Now all we could do was keep living our everyday lives while waiting in foster care for the phone to ring.
That emotional shift caught me completely off guard. I had spent months preparing for a child, but I hadn’t prepared myself for the silence that came afterward.
Every Day Feels Like “Maybe Today”
I never realized how much becoming active would keep my mind on edge. Before our agency licensed us, I focused on finishing the next class, completing the next form, or getting through the next home visit.
Now, my days look normal on the outside, but my mind is always wondering if today will be the day everything changes.
Every unknown phone number suddenly feels important. Every notification makes me glance at my phone. Even when it turns out to be a spam call or a text from a friend, there’s always that tiny spark of hope before I look at the screen.
As the days turn into weeks, it’s hard not to overthink things. I catch myself asking questions I know probably don’t have simple answers, but they still cross my mind.
Did they forget about us?
Are we actually active?
Is our age range too limited?
Did we make a mistake somewhere?
Are we doing something wrong?
Deep down, I know waiting in foster care is different for every family. Some homes receive a call within days, while others wait for months. Even knowing that, it’s hard to stop your mind from filling in the silence with questions.
The Waiting Doesn’t Mean You Aren’t Needed
This is something I have to remind myself of more often than I’d like.
Just because our phone hasn’t rung yet doesn’t mean a child won’t need our home. And it definitely doesn’t mean we made the wrong decision by becoming foster parents.
I’ve realized that waiting in foster care isn’t a reflection of how ready we are or how much we care. So much of it depends on things completely outside of our control. Placement needs change. Age ranges matter. Locations matter. Timing matters. None of those things have anything to do with whether we’ll be a good foster family.
Some families receive a placement within days. Others wait weeks or even months. Right now, we’re one of the families who are waiting, and while that isn’t always easy, I’m learning that every foster care journey looks different.
So on the hard days, I remind myself that our room is still ready. Our hearts are still open. And when the right child needs our home, I trust that we’ll get the call we’re waiting for.
Preparing for a Child You Haven’t Met Yet
I don’t think anyone can truly prepare you for what it’s like to get ready for a child you’ve never met.
You organize bedrooms, wash tiny clothes, buy diapers in different sizes, and slowly fill your home with things you hope someone will need someday. With every little thing you put away, it starts to feel more real.
Then… everything waits.
The crib sits ready. The toys stay untouched. The little outfits remain folded in the dresser. Every time I walk past the room, I’m reminded that we’re ready. We’re just waiting in foster care for the child who will eventually call it home.
Some days that fills me with hope. Other days it’s surprisingly emotional. You spend so much time preparing your home that you don’t realize your heart has been preparing too.
Maybe that’s the part nobody prepared me for. Not the paperwork.The training wasn’t the hardest part.And it definitely wasn’t the home study.It was preparing to love a child I haven’t even met yet.
I’m Learning That Waiting Is Part of the Journey Too
I’m learning that waiting in foster care is part of the journey too, even though it’s probably the part I understand the least.
Before we were licensed, every day had a purpose. There was another class to take, another form to fill out, or another box to check off. Now, the biggest challenge isn’t doing more. It’s learning to be patient when there’s nothing left to do but wait.
I’m still figuring that out.
Some days, waiting feels peaceful because I know we’ve done everything we can. Other days, it feels incredibly hard because I want so badly to open our home to a child who needs it.
Maybe this season is preparing my heart in ways I can’t see yet. Maybe it’s teaching me to trust the process even when I don’t understand the timing. I don’t have all the answers, but I’m learning that waiting in foster care isn’t time wasted. It’s simply another chapter in this journey.
For Anyone Else Currently Waiting…
If you’re waiting in foster care, I just want you to know… I see you.
I know what it feels like to check your phone every time it rings, hoping this time it’s the call. I know what it’s like to walk past an empty bedroom and wonder whose little laugh will one day fill it.
Some days, I feel excited. Other days, I wonder if we were forgotten. Then I remind myself why we started this journey in the first place. Somewhere, there’s a child who hasn’t met us yet.Maybe that’s the hardest part. You spend months getting your home ready, but nobody tells you how to prepare your heart for the waiting.
So if you’re in this quiet season with me, don’t lose hope. Our stories aren’t on pause. They’re still being written, even on the days when nothing seems to happen.
And maybe, just maybe, one ordinary day the phone will ring… and everything we’ve been waiting for will begin.
Until next time, have a blessed day. ❤️