How To Be Your Own Best Friend

Will You Be Your Friend

I don’t know about you, but I didn’t exactly like myself for a long time (still working on it — self-love is apparently a lifetime subscription, not a free trial). In my 20s, I wanted everyone to like me, which is hilarious now because that’s literally impossible. You can be the juiciest peach in the world, and someone out there is still going to hate peaches. Realizing that was a tough pill to swallow… and not one of those tiny easy-to-swallow pills, either — I’m talking the horse-sized vitamin kind you have to psych yourself up for.

But here’s the thing — there are people out there who will absolutely treasure you, but first you’ve got to treasure yourself. And let me tell you, I was not a fan of my own company at first. Now that I’m in my 30s, though, I actually like hanging out with myself — which is convenient because I’m kind of stuck with me forever.

So, here I am, trying something new and throwing myself into the mysterious world of blogging. (How am I doing? Please clap.) At the end of the day, building a relationship with yourself is a lot like starting a new friendship — there’s a little awkward small talk at first (“So, uh… what do you like to do for fun?”), but before long, you realize you’re actually pretty great to be around.

So here’s the big question: will you accept your own friend request? (I promise you won’t regret it!

What is Self -Love

• Embrace self-compassion: replace harsh inner criticism voice with a loving voice.
• Set healthy boundaries: Learn to say “no” because your time and energy is important.
• Practice positive self talk: Learn to speak to yourself with love and encouragement but most of all support.
• Engage in self: Eating well, exercising, reading a book or spending time in nature.
• Accepting yourself unconditionally: Learn to accept your weaknesses and strengths and understand your worth is not tied to achieving perfection or meeting what others think.
• Pursue your own goals: Love yourself enough to learn new skills, and try new activities that bring you happiness.

Create a Bond with Yourself

When I buy gifts for my friends, I get ridiculously excited to give them — like, I’m basically a golden retriever waiting for them to open it. And the more we hang out with our friends, the stronger that bond grows, right? Well, the same thing goes for ourselves. When we take time to spoil ourselves — whether that’s with a fancy coffee, a quiet night in, or just saying “no” to something we don’t want to do — we start to actually like ourselves a little more.

The trick is to learn how to self-analyze without turning into your own harshest critic. Ask yourself questions: “What actually makes me happy?” “What do I not love about myself — and can I fix it, or just accept it?” And then — here’s the important part — answer yourself the same way you would if you were talking to a friend you care about. Yes, that means having an actual conversation with yourself. (Pro tip: wait until you’re alone, or people might start asking if you’re okay. Or just own it — you’re deep, not weird.)

Speak to Yourself with Kindness

If you’re a good friend, you’re not just going to sit there and nod when your friend starts talking bad about themselves. No way — you’re going to look at them like they just said aliens built the pyramids and give them a full-on pep talk. That’s what good friends do. Well, guess what? You’ve got to be that same kind of friend to yourself. Yep, it’s time to give yourself a pep talk — out loud if you have to. (Bonus points if you do it in front of a mirror. Extra bonus points if you use a dramatic superhero voice.)

Because deep, deep down, you know that little voice in your head talking trash isn’t telling the truth. And if some of it is true? Cool — that’s where you make a game plan. For example: “You say I’m fat?” Okay, what can we do about it? Go for a 20-minute walk after dinner, dance around the living room like no one’s watching, or join a gym and get yourself a support squad. The point isn’t just to change your body — it’s to change how you feel about you.

Practicing self-kindness doesn’t have to be all bubble baths and scented candles (though those are great, too). It can be as simple as taking baby steps to improve your situation and cheering yourself on along the way. Before you know it, you’ll stop being just your harshest critic and start being your own biggest hype-person.

Loyal to Yourself

When you have a close friend you spend a lot of time with, you build this unspoken alliance — like a secret “Bestie Avengers” pact. You cheer them on, support their wild life decisions (even the questionable ones), and help them through the rough stuff. Well, guess what? You’ve got to do the exact same thing with yourself.

If you’ve got toxic people around you, love yourself enough to say “Nope, not today!” and slowly swap them out for people who lift you up instead of drag you down. (Think of it like spring cleaning, but for your social circle.) Once you do that, you’ll notice your boundaries start popping up — kind of like those little fences in a cute garden. And then? Boom. Confidence starts to grow.

And when that confidence kicks in, those snarky comments or rude opinions won’t knock you over anymore. You won’t be ducking your head or trying to disappear into the wallpaper — because you actually like yourself. You’ve built a friendship with yourself, and you know what’s true about you and what’s just background noise.

You are a beautiful person — now all you need to do is grab that mirror, give yourself a wink, and say, “Dang, we look good.”

That is All for Now

And there you have it — once you actually get to know yourself, your whole focus does a 180. Suddenly you’re glowing from the inside out like you swallowed a lightbulb (don’t actually do that). People will notice and probably start asking if you’re secretly in love or joined a fancy spa membership.

Don’t be afraid to reinvent yourself if you have to — Beyoncé does it every album cycle, and look how well that’s working out for her. You are absolutely worth it. Just please, don’t be the person who complains about everything but does nothing to change it. We all know that person, and they’re exhausting.

You are a strong, unique, beautiful human — like a rare collectible action figure but way cooler. Just be patient with yourself, because Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is a solid relationship with yourself. (Although Rome also didn’t have Netflix, so maybe you can get there faster.)

Anyway, I hope this pep talk has helped someone today. Stay fabulous, drink some water, and don’t forget you are the main character in your story. Until we meet again, have a blessed day.

“Enjoyed this post? Fuel my next one with a $2 coffee — caffeine = content!”