What Waiting Really Looked Like
Waiting sounds simple… until you’re actually living in it.
From the outside, it probably looked like we were just going about life — but inside my head? It was a mix of baby clothes, home projects, random lists, and trying to prepare for a child who wasn’t here yet.
I wanted to feel ready. I wanted to feel productive. And somewhere between the waiting and the wondering, my brain turned that energy into organized chaos.
And if you know me at all… you already know my ADHD doesn’t exactly believe in focusing on one thing at a time.”
Like… toddler-level focus on a good day 😅
I started out just trying to update my house.
Simple enough, right?
And then somehow my brain went:
“Okay but… what if we also become foster parents?”
So I switched gears.
Did everything I needed to do for that.
Got through the process.
Got licensed.
And now?
Now I’m in the waiting stage.
So naturally… my brain is like:
“Well… while we’re waiting, we might as well finish updating the house…
because this is going to get a whole lot harder with a little one around.” 😂
But before I did that… with my ADHD, I somehow convinced myself I needed to start with organizing baby stuff first.
At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
So I said I was ready…
and I started with clothes 😅
I didn’t really know where to begin.
There’s so much you could do to prepare… and somehow that makes it harder to start.
So I kept it simple.
Clothes felt like a safe place to start.
But even that wasn’t as simple as I thought.
Because the age range we’re open to?
It’s basically…
somewhere between baby… and full-on toddler mode 😅
So I stood there like…
Do I get 18–24 months?
2T?
3T?
The answer?
Probably all of the above 😂
So that’s what I did.
I grabbed a little bit of everything.
Nothing crazy… just enough to feel like I was at least trying to be prepared.
I washed everything.
Folded it.
Put it away.
And now it’s just sitting there…
waiting.
And I don’t know why, but that made it feel more real.
Like this might actually happen.
But also… while I’m sitting here waiting for that call…
I’ve realized something about myself 😅
Apparently, this is my version of nesting.
Because somewhere between organizing tiny clothes and checking my phone every five minutes…
I decided now would be a GREAT time to:
finish painting my kitchen,
paint my living room ceiling,
and give my downstairs bathroom a whole little facelift…
and somehow I even found myself looking at design options for the other rooms like I’ve got all the time in the world 😂
I swear it’s like my brain is saying:
“Well… we can’t control when the call comes…
so let’s just repaint the house instead.”
And honestly?
It’s keeping me busy.
Because this waiting part…
It stretches you a little.
Okay… more than a little.
So I guess if I can’t control what’s coming next…
I’ll just keep doing something.
Even if that something is folding tiny clothes and convincing myself I suddenly love painting ceilings 😅
It’s such a small thing…
but it feels like a step.
Not a big step.
Not a “I’ve got everything figured out” kind of step.
Just a small one.
But I’m starting to realize…
those small steps are what make this whole thing feel possible.
So yeah…
I said I was ready.
And I started with clothes 😅
Not ready for everything…
but ready enough to begin.
I’ll keep you updated as this journey unfolds 💛
Until we meet again… have a blessed day 💛